onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
