..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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