i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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