At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
