Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
