Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
