I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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