In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
