You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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