When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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