Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
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