Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
