we made out on top of his cat.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
