I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
