Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
