im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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