Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Use "feeling words"
Yay
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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