She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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