Yo dont text me then not text me
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
