If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
