Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize