Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
