Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
