The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
