I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
