I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
