i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
