he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
