"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
