"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
