I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
