Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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