I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize