I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
