Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Randomize