We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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