You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize