then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
