HIV tests are more positive than that guy
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
