Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
