i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
