Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
