I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
