there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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