dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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