nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
