I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
