He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
