So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
