UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
you never un-have a 4some
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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