being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
