dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
