yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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