i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
