Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Send help, water and tortillas.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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