If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
