either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
