I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
