I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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