White coat. Heels.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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