does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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