: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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