OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
