have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
and i looked up. we had an audience...
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
